The Pace of Life

As my family transitions from life in Uganda to life in the US, one of the biggest adjustments is the pace of life. In Uganda, during the week, we walked to school, walked home, walked to visit neighbors and every night sat around the table together often with friends enjoying a leisurely paced meal. In the US, now that we have school schedules and sports schedules and youth group schedules, it is challenging to find that time together. I needed to sit down on Sunday to figure out what time I need to prepare and serve dinner each night working around all the schedules so that we can have time together as a family. We often feel rushed moving from one thing to the next and it is hard to keep up.

This change of pace has been one of the most challenging aspects of adjustment. I’ve been trying to process why this has been so hard and I have thought of a few different factors. The first is that being in a hurry and having overly fully scheduled leaves little time to be still with the Lord. I have become the queen of multitasking, listening to my Bible reading or a sermon while doing housework or driving. While that may be better for me than not reading the Bible at all, it also isn’t the same as being still before the Lord. My mind and heart are not as renewed or encouraged as when I take extended time away to focus on God’s love. 

The second factor is that full schedules leave little time for deep meaningful connection. I met a friend for coffee but with all the other things in my day, I had to rush out to get to my next appointment. The little time we had was great, but it isn’t the same as hours of doing life together. I think we all desire connection, but often accept the weak substitutes of social media or activities around other people. 

So what should we Americans do? It seems nearly impossible to live a slower paced life here. I am learning a few ways to adjust. I know that I need to make time to rest and have time alone with God that isn’t just while I’m going from here to there. I want to redeem those times too, but setting apart a time to be still is important, I also need to learn to say no at times. I love helping people and don’t like to say that I don’t have time for something. I’m tutoring students in mathematics and I love helping them understand challenging concepts! Life in America is also expensive and I like being able to help with some of our family expenses. But I’m also learning that I can’t do everything and still be able to love my family well. When I am overwhelmed, they are the ones who often have to deal with the stressed out wife/mom who is irritable. 

So I’m asking God to help me live a more healthy paced life even in the midst of the hustle and bustle of America. I’m trying to set apart time to rest in Him and time to meaningfully connect with friends and family here. And I’m learning to say no. It’s humbling to acknowledge my limitations. I like being capable.

 I injured my shoulder a few weeks ago trying to climb an inverted climbing wall after not having done any climbing in decades. I was foolish to think that I could still climb as if I was in my 20s. I think trying to keep up with the pace of life here is similar. I’ve injured myself by overcommitting, thinking I could do it all, even though I had not been keeping up with life in America for 10 years. Having my two boys playing on different football teams and my daughter on a soccer team all during their first semester in school in America, may have been unwise. But sometimes we learn from our mistakes. I’m not climbing that wall anytime soon. And I’m thankful that football season is over and we will have a slightly less busy season ahead. Today, I’m choosing to take some of the time I have to just sit and be thankful. 

A Day of Love

On this Valentine’s Day, I was more keenly aware of how confused we often are about what love is. Walking into the store and seeing candy, flowers and cards, I was reminded that I have had the opportunity to take a ten year break from the American commercialism associated with many holidays. But even in the absence of all the trappings, my heart can still idolize feeling “loved.” I can wrongly focus on how I want my husband to communicate love to me on that day and fail to remember what love really is. 

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1 John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭18‬)

When I think of love, is this what I remember, the sacrificial love of Jesus for us and the opportunity to love those around me in that same way? This year on Valentine’s Day, I got a message that someone I love needed help with transportation. It wasn’t a very convenient time, but it certainly was an opportunity to choose to live out the love I have received. I only had to “lay down” a few hours of sleep and some money in fuel. Nothing in comparison to what it cost God to communicate his love to me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

As I noticed all the red hearts around used for decorating for this holiday, it occurred to me that red is an appropriate color to be associated with love. The greatest example of love in history is our Savior, Jesus Christ, who shed his own blood in order to bring us into God’s family. Our sin deserved death, so he took that on himself to give us life. How often do I think about how I can lay down my life for my brothers and sisters? How is God calling me to show self-sacrificial love to those in need? And as I do, am I patting myself on the back or am I remembering that the love I have received was so much greater. Any act of service is simply an opportunity to point to the much greater love of Jesus. I pray that we will shine His love on Valentine’s Day and everyday! 

The Red Sea Road

”When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.” But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.“

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭13‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭

A friend recently reminded me of this passage. It is one my husband preached on awhile back and I found it fascinating. When you look at a map, it seems ridiculous to see the path the Israelites took when they left Egypt and were traveling toward their promised land. But they were following God as he led them by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. There was no mistaking where he was leading them. Although the place they were eventually going was northeast, they were actually heading south with a body of water now to their east. It must have seemed to them that God was leading them in the wrong direction. Have you ever felt that way? I have. When things got worse and the Egyptians showed up, the people complained and asked if they were just being brought out here to die. (Ex.14:11) They would ask that question many more times before they reached the end of their journeys. 

In June, I had the opportunity to travel with our senior class to Egypt. We travelled along a similar route as the ancient Egyptians, heading from Cairo to Hurghada along the Red Sea. We travelled further south than the Israelites would have, but I was astonished at the long road through the desert. It was amazing to see the mountains and desert to the west and the Red Sea to the east. I thought of how thankful I was that we were driving in a vehicle and not walking. When we reached Hurghada, a beautiful place along the Red Sea, I got a phone call with news that made me wonder if God was leading me in the wrong direction. I felt confused and trapped. Like the Israelites, I had recently seen God’s faithful provision, but the current circumstances were overwhelming. 

Of course, we know how the story of the ancient Israelites ends. God miraculously parts the sea and they walk to safety. Then the Egyptians follow and the sea closes and leaves the Israelites safely on the other shore. Right now I am in a season of not understanding why God has allowed many hard things, but also trusting in his faithfulness. I don’t see a pilar of cloud or fire leading us, but I do see him guiding us in small ways and I am thankful that He has a plan even though I don’t know it. 

I’ve recently started listening to the song, “Red Sea Road” by Ellie Holcomb. Actually I’ve been listening to the whole album, but here are some of the lyrics from this song that have encouraged me. 

So we will sing to our souls
We won't bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There's a Red Sea road
When we can't see the way
He will part the waves
And we'll never walk alone
Down a Red Sea road

Oh help us believe
You are faithful, You're faithful 
When our hearts are breaking
You are faithful, You're faithful

Teach us to sing 
You are faithful, You're faithful 
Oh grant us eyes to see 
You are faithful, You're faithful, You're faithful

When the Israelites crossed safely, do you know what they did? They sang! Exodus 15 is a song praising God for his provision. Sometimes I need to sing and/or listen to worship music to remember God’s faithfulness in the past and to trust him with the challenges ahead. In times when I feel confused and overwhelmed, I want to remember that I am never alone, and that the One who is with me is faithful. So today, when the doubts creep in, I will put in my earbuds and sing to remember His faithfulness. 

Walking into the Waves

Today we are enjoying the beach as we visit family, friends and ministry partners here in South Florida. It is a beautiful day sunny and warm on the last day of December. Our youngest doesn’t have much experience with the beach and approached with much trepidation, particularly when I read that the flags meant mild caution for animal life. Since I grew up here, I offhandedly mentioned that there might be jellyfish. My daughter, who only knows about jellyfish from her science class, was more concerned. Once we convinced her that we would look out for them and keep her safe, she agreed to walk in. 

As we walked deeper and the waves increased, so did her grip on my arm. When the waves were small, she felt like she could manage mostly on her own, but as the waves increased she felt a greater need for safety from someone bigger than the waves. As I held her and stepped in front to take the brunt of the waves myself, I was reminded of how my Heavenly Father holds me in the waves of this life. He is always there, but when the waves threaten to overwhelm me, that is when I cling to Him the most and am comforted by His strength. 

After a while I was worn out so David took a turn supporting her in the waves. It is amazing that our Heavenly Father never gets worn out! He rejoices when we run back to him and cling to Him in the midst of the waves of life. This beautiful day at the beach has been both refreshing and an encouragement to my soul. If we fallen, finite parents want to protect and support our children in the waves, how much more does our perfect, loving, infinite Heavenly Father care for us! May you be comforted by His love perfect today! 

Trusting God with our children

One of the things I find the most difficult in life, is that I cannot protect my children from pain. As I write, one of my children is recovering from malaria which is a miserable disease. Another child during his first case of malaria in Uganda said that he felt like he was going to die. Since many children in Uganda do die from malaria that was not just an overly dramatic statement to laugh off. It was terrifying. Thankfully he recovered from that case after receiving treatment and the one who is sick now is on the mend as well. 

While physical ailments can be scary, we have always had access to the medical care needed and were able to do something to help them recover. Walking through the challenges our children experience in other ways can be even more challenging. My older two children are learning to be young adults in a country where they did not grow up. Figuring out cultural norms and how to do life in a different place where you do not yet have community is definitely challenging. My younger children are learning to make friends in a new culture. They are used to living on a large compound with other missionary families and children in residence who play outside until dark most days after school. We are working to build relationships with our neighbors here, but we don't really see most of them. It can be lonely. The challenges of adjusting to living in America during this season are not as easy to "treat" as malaria. My heart aches when my youngest cries because she is missing her friends in Uganda and does not yet have many friends here. 

As each of my children face different challenges in adjusting to life on this side of the ocean, I often feel overwhelmed. I wish I could make it all better. I wish I could take away the pain of the losses they are experiencing. I find myself waking in the night wondering how to love and support them well. But what I am learning is that I cannot make it all better. As our children walk through challenging seasons of life, maybe my role is not to make it all better, but to just be there and lift them up to their Heavenly Father who loves them more than I do. I want them to find comfort and joy in Him, not in a comfortable, easy life. Even as I write that sentence I struggle with it. I do want life to be comfortable and easy for my kids. I hate seeing them suffer. What good parent really likes watching their child suffer. But what I am learning, is that God has a bigger better picture in mind. 

In my life, God has always used my most difficult struggles to draw me nearer to Himself and then to give me opportunities to minister to others. Yesterday I sat with a friend who reminded me that our deepest hurts often lead to our greatest opportunity for ministry. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."

Our Lord suffered in this life so that we could be comforted in Him. My prayer is that my children would each know comfort from their Savior as they walk through challenging times. I regularly need to remind myself that I am not my children's best hope. Their Savior is. And I pray that each of them would find hope in Him. 

I am learning that as my children grow, my role is becoming more a ministry of prayer. And maybe, God is teaching me to trust Him with the ones closest to my heart. Maybe, God is reminding me that I never was the One in control and that is a good thing. He is God, and I am not. I don't see the whole picture. I just see a little snippet. And He who loves us enough to die to bring us into his family, also loves us and our children enough to work for our good even in challenging seasons of loss and change. I am learning to trust Him, slowly by slowly (as we say in Uganda), with some sleepless nights along the way. But He is good and I am clinging to that. And He loves our children better than we ever could. 

Giving Thanks in Rainy Season

This rainy season I have been reminded that I often need to choose thankfulness. We have been given so many blessings, but it is easy to lose perspective. In most situations I can choose to give thanks or to grumble and complain. I was reminded on Sunday, how the Israelites often saw the miraculous works of God like the parting of the Red Sea to save them from the Egyptians and then just a few days later began complaining again. (Exodus 14 - 15) I am too much like that. I see God at work in amazing ways and then soon after, I begin wondering if he will take care of me. I often forget to focus on all he has done and the many ways he has provided. 

As theses last two weeks have been exceptionally rainy and cloudy, we have been running out of electricity at some point in the night. The house gets very dark and I often wake when the fans stop. I also often wake to the rain which means we need to close the windows so that the rain doesn’t blow in.  It is easy to get frustrated about not sleeping as well or the extra time it takes to find and light candles and dry everything that has gotten wet in the rain. But I am also reminded how much I have for which to give thanks. 

Instead of being annoyed at the 4 hours at the end of the night and early in the morning without electricity, I can thank God for the 20 hours I do have it. Many friends in our village do not have any electricity in their homes. I am also reminded that other than for a few weeks during rainy season, we are blessed with consistent electricity in a country where that is often not the norm. When we were living in a house on the grid during our first two years here in Uganda, every time someone would turn on a light, Zeke would shout “Power is back!” It was the norm to lose electricity and every time we could turn on a light switch we gave thanks and Zeke celebrated. 

As the sun comes up this morning and I look out at all that is growing this rainy season, I am also reminded of God’s provision through the rains. The land is being watered and people are able to grow food to feed their families. These rainy days are a gift from the Lord! I pray that the Lord will help me to see the blessings in the midst of the struggles. That I would give thanks more than I grumble. And this morning I am thankful that there is a bit of clear sky to literally recharge our batteries. And God is giving me a thankful heart to also figurative recharge. Many you also see God’s good gifts in the midst of your rainy seasons! 

School Fees Gave Birth

 Recently one of our neighbors told another woman, "School Fees gave birth." We were all a little confused when we first heard the statement. When asked to explain, she told us that she had named the piglet she received at Christmas 16 months ago "School Fees." She had built a pen for the pig and taken care of it for that time. She named the piglet School Fees because she has 3 children in school and she planned to use the proceeds from this pig to benefit her children's education. It was a good reminder of her goal. 

I was so pleased to hear that this pig grew and gave birth in time for her to sell 4 of the 8 piglets in time to pay her children's school fees this year. One piglet did not survive, but she still has 3 more piglets growing to expand her business. The next time her pig gives birth, she is planning to give one of the piglets to her mother in order to help her start up her own small farm. It is such an encouragement to me to see your gifts multiply in such beautiful ways. Thank you for your partnership in our ministry here. It is bearing fruit (and piglets).