Learning from Compost

    On a beautiful spring morning, I noticed that my compost bucket from under the kitchen sink was full. This is where I dump my coffee grounds, fruit and vegetable scraps, egg shells and other compostable items. Our outdoor fire pit was also full of ashes, so I decided to go empty the bucket into our backyard compost bin along with the ashes. We have three separate bins, so that while we are filling one bin, another is decomposing and the third is being used in the garden. After emptying the scraps and ashes into one bin, I decided to turn the pile that was sitting and decomposing. 

    As I turned the compost bin that we had filled with food scraps, used coffee grounds, ashes, leaves and grass clippings, I found that over several months, theses things that we usually think of as waste, had turned into beautiful rich soil. I was so excited to use this rich compost to transplant some of the things in my garden that had reproduced. Adding this compost to our heavy clay soil helps create such a rich, fertile soil that lead to a beautiful garden. As I turned this soil and began to get excited about the beauty that would come from this compost, I remembered this passage from Isaiah 61. 

    "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." (Is 61:1-3)

    Jesus quoted the first part of this chapter saying that he was the fulfillment of this passage. He cares about the the brokenhearted. He cares about the things in our lives that have felt like a heap of trash and ashes. And he is the One who can bring beauty out of them! I often don't understand why God allows so much pain in our lives, and have had several long conversations with him about this. But I trust that he will bring beauty from my ashes, just as he has brought beauty in my backyard from the ashes in my compost heap.  

Torn Between Worlds

While we have been living here in the United States for over two years now, I still find myself feeling torn as I try to love people on two continents. An example that cracked me up occurred last week at my son's football game. I was watching him play when I received a call from my ministry partner in Uganda. She was sharing with me about several needs there. Specifically, there are several members of the women's Bible study group who have sickle cell disease. These women are wanting to have testing available to determine if their children also have this genetic condition, and training about how to care for those members who do have it. As I was praying with her over the phone about this need, my son caught his first touchdown pass! I went from praying for my sisters in Uganda to shouting to celebrate my son, then back to prayer. While it is humorous to consider jumping back and forth from serious health issues to an exciting football game, it was also a bit heartbreaking. 

At that moment it occurred to me that the cost of this sickle cell clinic is less than the cost of 15 people coming to watch this high school football game! It is so hard to process these two different worlds in which we live! I pray that God will continue to grow me in my ability to love people well in both of my worlds!

Advent

 This Advent season is a reminder that we are in a season of waiting. Jesus has come and we celebrate that he accomplished our salvation through his incarnation, life, death and resurrection. But we are also waiting for him to make all things new. There are still many we love struggling with sickness and sadness. The brokenness of the world is ever apparent. But our Lord has shown us that He keeps his promises. For many years the Israelites were waiting for their Messiah. Reading the book of Matthew shows us how he came and fulfilled so many prophecies. We can trust that He will come again. This Christmas, I have a greater sense of longing for the day when there will be no more sickness and death. 

    Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”  (Revelation 21:1-5)

As we celebrate this season and enjoy the good gifts it brings, we also look forward to with longing for the ultimate fulfillment in Christ's second coming, when He will wipe away every tear from our eyes. But in this time of waiting, He has called us to share the good news. He has given us the privilege and joy of sharing his love and hope wherever he has placed us at the time. 

The Pace of Life

As my family transitions from life in Uganda to life in the US, one of the biggest adjustments is the pace of life. In Uganda, during the week, we walked to school, walked home, walked to visit neighbors and every night sat around the table together often with friends enjoying a leisurely paced meal. In the US, now that we have school schedules and sports schedules and youth group schedules, it is challenging to find that time together. I needed to sit down on Sunday to figure out what time I need to prepare and serve dinner each night working around all the schedules so that we can have time together as a family. We often feel rushed moving from one thing to the next and it is hard to keep up.

This change of pace has been one of the most challenging aspects of adjustment. I’ve been trying to process why this has been so hard and I have thought of a few different factors. The first is that being in a hurry and having overly fully scheduled leaves little time to be still with the Lord. I have become the queen of multitasking, listening to my Bible reading or a sermon while doing housework or driving. While that may be better for me than not reading the Bible at all, it also isn’t the same as being still before the Lord. My mind and heart are not as renewed or encouraged as when I take extended time away to focus on God’s love. 

The second factor is that full schedules leave little time for deep meaningful connection. I met a friend for coffee but with all the other things in my day, I had to rush out to get to my next appointment. The little time we had was great, but it isn’t the same as hours of doing life together. I think we all desire connection, but often accept the weak substitutes of social media or activities around other people. 

So what should we Americans do? It seems nearly impossible to live a slower paced life here. I am learning a few ways to adjust. I know that I need to make time to rest and have time alone with God that isn’t just while I’m going from here to there. I want to redeem those times too, but setting apart a time to be still is important, I also need to learn to say no at times. I love helping people and don’t like to say that I don’t have time for something. I’m tutoring students in mathematics and I love helping them understand challenging concepts! Life in America is also expensive and I like being able to help with some of our family expenses. But I’m also learning that I can’t do everything and still be able to love my family well. When I am overwhelmed, they are the ones who often have to deal with the stressed out wife/mom who is irritable. 

So I’m asking God to help me live a more healthy paced life even in the midst of the hustle and bustle of America. I’m trying to set apart time to rest in Him and time to meaningfully connect with friends and family here. And I’m learning to say no. It’s humbling to acknowledge my limitations. I like being capable.

 I injured my shoulder a few weeks ago trying to climb an inverted climbing wall after not having done any climbing in decades. I was foolish to think that I could still climb as if I was in my 20s. I think trying to keep up with the pace of life here is similar. I’ve injured myself by overcommitting, thinking I could do it all, even though I had not been keeping up with life in America for 10 years. Having my two boys playing on different football teams and my daughter on a soccer team all during their first semester in school in America, may have been unwise. But sometimes we learn from our mistakes. I’m not climbing that wall anytime soon. And I’m thankful that football season is over and we will have a slightly less busy season ahead. Today, I’m choosing to take some of the time I have to just sit and be thankful. 

A Day of Love

On this Valentine’s Day, I was more keenly aware of how confused we often are about what love is. Walking into the store and seeing candy, flowers and cards, I was reminded that I have had the opportunity to take a ten year break from the American commercialism associated with many holidays. But even in the absence of all the trappings, my heart can still idolize feeling “loved.” I can wrongly focus on how I want my husband to communicate love to me on that day and fail to remember what love really is. 

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1 John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭18‬)

When I think of love, is this what I remember, the sacrificial love of Jesus for us and the opportunity to love those around me in that same way? This year on Valentine’s Day, I got a message that someone I love needed help with transportation. It wasn’t a very convenient time, but it certainly was an opportunity to choose to live out the love I have received. I only had to “lay down” a few hours of sleep and some money in fuel. Nothing in comparison to what it cost God to communicate his love to me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

As I noticed all the red hearts around used for decorating for this holiday, it occurred to me that red is an appropriate color to be associated with love. The greatest example of love in history is our Savior, Jesus Christ, who shed his own blood in order to bring us into God’s family. Our sin deserved death, so he took that on himself to give us life. How often do I think about how I can lay down my life for my brothers and sisters? How is God calling me to show self-sacrificial love to those in need? And as I do, am I patting myself on the back or am I remembering that the love I have received was so much greater. Any act of service is simply an opportunity to point to the much greater love of Jesus. I pray that we will shine His love on Valentine’s Day and everyday! 

The Red Sea Road

”When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.” But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.“

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭13‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭

A friend recently reminded me of this passage. It is one my husband preached on awhile back and I found it fascinating. When you look at a map, it seems ridiculous to see the path the Israelites took when they left Egypt and were traveling toward their promised land. But they were following God as he led them by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. There was no mistaking where he was leading them. Although the place they were eventually going was northeast, they were actually heading south with a body of water now to their east. It must have seemed to them that God was leading them in the wrong direction. Have you ever felt that way? I have. When things got worse and the Egyptians showed up, the people complained and asked if they were just being brought out here to die. (Ex.14:11) They would ask that question many more times before they reached the end of their journeys. 

In June, I had the opportunity to travel with our senior class to Egypt. We travelled along a similar route as the ancient Egyptians, heading from Cairo to Hurghada along the Red Sea. We travelled further south than the Israelites would have, but I was astonished at the long road through the desert. It was amazing to see the mountains and desert to the west and the Red Sea to the east. I thought of how thankful I was that we were driving in a vehicle and not walking. When we reached Hurghada, a beautiful place along the Red Sea, I got a phone call with news that made me wonder if God was leading me in the wrong direction. I felt confused and trapped. Like the Israelites, I had recently seen God’s faithful provision, but the current circumstances were overwhelming. 

Of course, we know how the story of the ancient Israelites ends. God miraculously parts the sea and they walk to safety. Then the Egyptians follow and the sea closes and leaves the Israelites safely on the other shore. Right now I am in a season of not understanding why God has allowed many hard things, but also trusting in his faithfulness. I don’t see a pilar of cloud or fire leading us, but I do see him guiding us in small ways and I am thankful that He has a plan even though I don’t know it. 

I’ve recently started listening to the song, “Red Sea Road” by Ellie Holcomb. Actually I’ve been listening to the whole album, but here are some of the lyrics from this song that have encouraged me. 

So we will sing to our souls
We won't bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There's a Red Sea road
When we can't see the way
He will part the waves
And we'll never walk alone
Down a Red Sea road

Oh help us believe
You are faithful, You're faithful 
When our hearts are breaking
You are faithful, You're faithful

Teach us to sing 
You are faithful, You're faithful 
Oh grant us eyes to see 
You are faithful, You're faithful, You're faithful

When the Israelites crossed safely, do you know what they did? They sang! Exodus 15 is a song praising God for his provision. Sometimes I need to sing and/or listen to worship music to remember God’s faithfulness in the past and to trust him with the challenges ahead. In times when I feel confused and overwhelmed, I want to remember that I am never alone, and that the One who is with me is faithful. So today, when the doubts creep in, I will put in my earbuds and sing to remember His faithfulness. 

Walking into the Waves

Today we are enjoying the beach as we visit family, friends and ministry partners here in South Florida. It is a beautiful day sunny and warm on the last day of December. Our youngest doesn’t have much experience with the beach and approached with much trepidation, particularly when I read that the flags meant mild caution for animal life. Since I grew up here, I offhandedly mentioned that there might be jellyfish. My daughter, who only knows about jellyfish from her science class, was more concerned. Once we convinced her that we would look out for them and keep her safe, she agreed to walk in. 

As we walked deeper and the waves increased, so did her grip on my arm. When the waves were small, she felt like she could manage mostly on her own, but as the waves increased she felt a greater need for safety from someone bigger than the waves. As I held her and stepped in front to take the brunt of the waves myself, I was reminded of how my Heavenly Father holds me in the waves of this life. He is always there, but when the waves threaten to overwhelm me, that is when I cling to Him the most and am comforted by His strength. 

After a while I was worn out so David took a turn supporting her in the waves. It is amazing that our Heavenly Father never gets worn out! He rejoices when we run back to him and cling to Him in the midst of the waves of life. This beautiful day at the beach has been both refreshing and an encouragement to my soul. If we fallen, finite parents want to protect and support our children in the waves, how much more does our perfect, loving, infinite Heavenly Father care for us! May you be comforted by His love perfect today!