Don’t Lose Heart

Over the course of one month’s time I had two separate cases of malaria and then came down with a severe bacterial infection with a high fever and many body systems affected. From the end of April through the end of May there were very few days where I was well. Anyone who is a teacher in the American educational system knows that the month of May is often very busy. This May included a school play, wrapping up a semester, exams, an awards ceremony and graduation. We also have been working on plans for next school year as we have had several new families ask if we might have space for their children in our school. While the final stretch of the school year is always challenging, my sickness added additional obstacles. During exam week, I received IV fluids and antibiotics while administering an Algebra 2 exam. 

All teachers also know that when the students are done, the teachers are not. We still have grades to finalize and classrooms and textbooks to organize and things to order for next school year. So the first week of June was busy with many of those things along with having 5 children who are now on summer break. We decided that after this exhausting stretch, our family needed some time away for rest. 

We traveled east to the mountains on the border with Kenya to stay at a lodge near some beautiful waterfalls. We have enjoyed some quiet, peaceful time in nature, a beautiful hike,  nice picnic lunches and fun family game times. But in the midst of this beautiful, peaceful place I am still struggling to be at peace in my mind. Next week we are scheduled to have a court date for Evie’s adoption. I got word that another friend who was scheduled to see this same judge this week had her court date canceled. We also still need to get some documents and have been trying to coordinate that. 

Even as I am lying here cuddling with this precious girl during her nap time, my stomach is churning thinking about this upcoming court date. Evie has been with our family for almost 2 years now. While I have no logical reason to fear that the judge will rule against her being adopted into our family, that fear is sometimes overwhelming. I am trying to learn how to trust God with each moment and not worry about tomorrow. Honestly, I’m not doing a great job with that right now. 

Sometimes remembering how God has worked in the past and seeing his faithfulness gives me encouragement and hope about how He will continue to work. This year’s graduation was a real blessing to me. We had four seniors graduate who have all been in our school for the past 3 years. As they each gave speeches and reflected on their high school experience, I was reminded of how God has worked in each of their lives in amazing ways. They have grown into extraordinary young women who are “rooted and grounded” in the love of Jesus. (Ephesians 3:17) 

Galatians 6:9 reminds us “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not lose heart.”

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I realize that after a rough month of illnesss and a lot of work, I have been growing weary. But seeing how God is at work in the lives of our students was an encouragement to me to not lose heart. This adoption process has also left me weary at times. We have been waiting for this court date for almost a year. But as I remember God’s faithful work in the lives of my students, I will also trust Him to be at work in this adoption process. Part of the harvest that we will reap is personal growth in patience and perseverance. While the process is not always fun, I am learning to trust that God is at work, and I just need to take the next step following where He leads me. And when I have the privilege of seeing the fruit of the harvest, I want to rejoice in the ways God is at work and allow His faithfulness to encourage me to persevere in those times when I am a bit weary.