But today I also have many questions about the future. None are quite as big as moving our family of six overseas, but they are big questions nevertheless. When will we get a court date for Evie’s adoption? Has our lawyer even filed the paperwork? (You would think that this might be easy to determine, but we have not had answers to our emails and phone calls for weeks.) When will we be able to travel to the US as a family for a furlough? (Which of course depends on the answers to the previous questions and many more.) Will we have the finances to continue some of our outreach work in our village? Who will be teaching with us next school year? How will the travel plans of the different families involved in our school affect our school schedule? I want to be able to plan, but I am learning that what I need to do is to trust God.
Honestly, I wake most mornings very anxious. I really struggle to believing that God is working for my good in all things. (Rom.8:28) I run many scenarios through my mind and try to figure it all out before I even set foot out of bed. But God is teaching me. I am learning to set my eyes on things above, not on earthly things. God is teaching me to remember. To remember his faithfulness to his people throughout all generations. To remember how He has been faithful in my life bringing good even through challenging situations. To remember that My life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Col.3:1-3) To remember that God has brought me through challenging times and grown my faith in the process.
It is easy for me to let fear of the future steal my joy whe I forget God’s faithfulness. Instead I want to choose faith over fear. I want to remember God’s faithfulness and trust Him with all the unknowns. I want to trust that He is helping me grow in the midst of so many questions. God is strengthening my faith to pray and wait while He works out these details for my good and His glory. He reminds me to focus less on my situation and more on my Savior. As I continue to struggle to trust God, I remind myself of these words from “In Christ Alone.”
“From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from his hand. Till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I stand.”