One Day at a Time

Have you ever felt like you don’t know how you are going to make it through an upcoming challenge? I’ve recently had a few conversations like this with friends. When my tongue is painful, I often reflect on the challenges I have beeen through and think, “I can’t go through that again.” And I begin to worry. It is so easy for fear to take over. 

But then I remember that I don’t need the strength for the entire upcoming challenge right now. I just need the strength for this moment. I don’t even need to have the strength for the whole day ahead of me. I just need God to strengthen me for the task at hand. I often borrow trouble and worry about how God is going to provide what we need weeks and months down the road, but Jesus teaches us to ask God for our “daily bread.” I would like to ask God to give me the month’s supply of bread up front so I can plan. But God wants me to depend on Him day by day, moment by moment. That is so contrary to my North American culture. We have been taught to plan, to save for the emergency situation, to have insurance for everything. And I’m not saying that planning is bad. But when my hope is in my plans instead of my Savior it is a problem. When things don’t go as I planned, or for some reason I’m not able to see the plan, that is when I realize where my trust is. It is gracious that God doesn’t always show me how He will provide for my needs. He knows that peace does not come from being prepared for every contingency, but in trusting in Him and His goodness in the midst of my struggles and fears. So today, I am asking God for the strength for today and I am choosing to trust Him with all my tomorrows. 

Starting the Week Feeling Weak

This past weekend wiped me out. Friday was an emotionally exhausting day of rushing my daughter around after her seizure. We arrived home after dark and then needed to prepare for the next day. Saturday was Elijah’s first rugby tournament, a board meeting and a birthday party for a friend in town. We left Jinja for what is usually a 30 minute drive home at about 8pm. We saw terrible traffic due to an accident so we tried an alternate route. Since it has been very rainy lately and they have been working on this dirt road, we found many vehicles stuck in the mud. Our four wheel drive kept us from getting stuck, but the road was impassable due to all the other vehicles. So we turned around and headed back to sit in traffic on the main road. We arrived home at 11:45. 

Since Evie’s seizure we have been giving her medicine every four hours to make sure her fever did not spike again. This means that I’ve been processing and praying, taking some time to fall asleep and then getting 2-3 hours of sleep before waking again. Sunday was busier than usual with going into town for church, staying to celebrate some of my friends’ birthdays and then family church with the kids and families and housemoms here at GSF. I did squeeze in a run to give me a needed boost to make it through the day. 

Here I am on Monday morning, feeling unprepared for the week ahead, not even knowing what happened in my classes on Friday, and having very little energy. The two things that keep coming to mind are the song, “I Need Thee Every Hour” and when the Lord tells the Apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) So as I start this week feeling weak, I am going to believe that God’s grace is sufficient for me. I am going to continue to pray remembering my need for His strength. (And I’m also going to look for a chance to get some rest.)