Grieving

Soon after we arrived in the United States, my grandmother died. I had not seen her in two years, and now I won't see her again until heaven. This is the part of being a missionary that sucks. (Sorry mom, I know you don't like me to use that word.)  I haven't written about it yet because it has been too fresh. I think I was in denial for a while, but this weekend we will see my grandpa. My Grandma Doris will not be there.

My grandparents with our kids during our last visit

Grandma Doris was such a loving, encouraging woman. She was actually my step-grandmother, but since she married my grandpa when I was 3, I always just thought of her as Grandma. When she heard we were moving to Uganda to work as teachers for missionary kids at an orphanage she was so supportive. She had her women's Bible study in Illinois praying regularly for us and our ministry. She also loved my grandpa well. In recent years he has become more forgetful and hard of hearing. He's 89, so that is expected. But she was always understanding and patient with him. My heart is so sad for my grandpa! She was such a wonderful, loving wife for him for so many years. In recent weeks he has moved from Illinois to South Florida to live near my parents. (My dad is his only child, and he needs some help while adjusting to life on his own now.)  

This great loss for our whole family has also meant that I have not been able to spend as much time with my parents as I had hoped during our furlough. My mom was going to come up and see us in Georgia, but instead she went to the funeral in Illinois. Since our family was going through so much transition already, I didn't think it would be wise for me to go. This week we had planned to be with my parents in Orlando. They were able to come meet us for my birthday, but they had to go back to be with my grandpa the next day. I completely understand and agree with their decisions, but it doesn't take away my sadness. I love my family, and I don't like being over 7,000 miles away most of the time. Yet that is where I am called to be. God has graciously given David and me a strong confirmation that Good Shepherd's Fold in Buundo Village, Uganda is where he wants us to be a part of his kingdom work. 

As I write I feel like I should tie this all up and say that everything is okay. I do know that I will see my grandma again in heaven. She is with Jesus and is no longer sick. I am so glad to know that she knew the love of Jesus and trusted in Him. I also know that Jesus promises that anyone who leaves their family for the sake of his kingdom will have rewards in heaven. But today I am sad. And I know that my Savior who walked on this earth and cried when his friend died, is here with me. He knows loss. He knows the pain of being separated from family more than I will ever know. He left heaven to come to earth to love you and me. As I grieve today, I am comforted by his understanding love.