Do Not Fear

Over the past month or so, I have been struggling more than usual with fear and worry. The occasion this time is my tongue. About a month ago, I noticed some minor changes in the appearance of my tongue. That may sound like a strange reason to worry if you don’t know my history. Five and a half years ago, I had surgery to remove some pre-cancerous areas on my tongue. In the end about 10% of my tongue was removed from the side. It was a very painful recovery and due to some nerve damage, I have had a burning sensation on that part of my tongue ever since. There is an American dentist here in Uganda who has done check-ups ever since the surgery, so I went in to ask him to look at the spot. He said that some changes in appearance are normal as we age and he was not concerned about the appearance of it. Then I started back to school and got a cold. Those sound fairly normal for a teacher at this time of year, and they are. The problem is that as I use my tongue more, the pain increases. This has been the case since my surgery five and a half years ago. When I have a cold, I use my tongue more to clear my throat and swallow. When I teach, I obviously am using my tongue more for talking. This combination has led to a significant increase in that burning sensation on the area of my tongue where I had surgery. These tongue troubles have been the occasion for many of my recent struggles with fear. 

I say that these tongue troubles are the occasion for my struggle because I know that they are not the reason for my struggle with fear. The reason has much more to do with heart issues and less to do with the situation. My heart wants to know what the future holds. My heart fears going through difficult, painful times again. And my heart often spends more time looking at my circumstances than looking to my God who has promised to be with me through it all. 

This is why Isaiah 43 has been on my mind so much recently. In this passage, God reminds us that when we go through difficult times (passing through waters, waves, fire), He will be with us and will be our Savior. There is no promise that difficult times will not come. On the contrary, many passsages in Scripture tell us that we will experience trials, difficulties and challenges in this life. Our hope is not in the absence of problems, but in the One who has promised to be with us. God, who created us, knows us, loves us and has called us by name, promises to be with us and to be our Savior in the midst of the difficult times that will come. 

The question that I have to ask myself is this? Will I look at the water, the waves and the fire and live in fear, or will I look to my Savior in faith? I continue to struggle with my natural tendency of fear, but God is strengthening my faith and teaching me to focus on who He is, and what He has promised in His Word. So today, I am asking God to give me faith to believe that the waves will not overcome me. I am asking him to help me not fear, for He is my Lord and is with me. 

“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:1-3