Thoughts on life and request for prayer

As I have been processing all of the recent information about having pre-cancer as a generally healthy fairly young woman, I have been learning much. Thinking about my own mortality has brought about some interesting thoughts. The first thought that came to me was that if I die I will be in heaven with my Lord, and no more pain or sorrow. That will be wonderful one day! I am so thankful that because of Jesus I have this confidence. (But the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.) Romans 6:23

The second thought I had was that God still has work for me to do here on earth. He has given me the privilege and opportunity to disciple my four children as their mother, showing them His love and helping them to know Him better. He has also given us this amazing opportunity to go teach missionary kids and live out the love of Jesus toward them and all the orphaned and abandoned children who live at Good Shepherd's Fold.

I am very thankful for the perspective of the apostle Paul in Philippians 1.

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith.

While I do have peace about heaven and confidence that God has work for me to do here on earth, I am still really struggling with fear and anxiety. I wake up each morning and my heart begins racing and my stomach begins hurting. It is so strange to go through this very physical fear response, while in my mind I know that God is in control and working for my good. If you are reading this I ask you to pray for me. Please pray that as I learn to trust God with my future, I would have peace in my heart, mind and body. Thank you!