Mother’s Day Mahem

On Mother’s Day I was thankful that our family had the opportunity to love on some kids who are good friends of my older children. While I was blessed to be able to show a mother’s love to these kids, I also was grieving over the situations that lead to many children not being with their families. When we arrived at church, I needed a few minutes to just sit in the van and cry about the moms who can’t care for their children and the children who haven’t been able to receive their mother’s love. This life is such a mixture of grief and joy, brokenness and blessing. I’m thankful for a church family that also understands and walks together through these moments. Looking around the room in our church, where there are almost as many well-loved foster and adopted kids as there are biological ones, I was once again reminded that God brings beauty out of ashes. While I was waiting to hear from the social worker about how long these kids were going to be able to stay with our family, I asked my church friends to pray that I would trust God in the midst of challenging situations. 

As church went on I started feeling ill. After church we went out to lunch and my stomach just wasn’t feeling right. I thought it might be anxiety waiting to hear from the social worker and my concern for these kids that our family loves. We got word that they were allowed to stay with us for a week and we were thankful. As I told them, I wondered how to even process something like this. At least we had a plan for more than just today. 

By the time we reached home I was definitely not feeling well and my fever was high. I realized that I had malaria for the second time in less than a month. Ugh. Thankfully we caught it early and I only had a few days of feeling really lousy. 

One  morning recently as I woke early praying for these kids I love, I had a lot of questions for God. My heart was heavy and my mind was swirling with all the challenges of each situation. As I opened God’s Word I read Isaiah 40:28-31.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator or the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

As I read this passage, I knew it was exactly what I needed to hear. God opened my eyes to see how this passage spoke right to me. Below is my personalized paraphrase of this passage. 

“Lisa, did you forget Who I am? I am the God who created this whole world. I know exactly what these kids need and you don’t have to. I’ve got it. You don’t have the strength or wisdom to carry this situation, but I do. Trust me and I will give you the strength to love freely without feeling like it is up to you to fix things you are incapable of fixing. I am God and you are not.”

While I don’t know what tomorrow or even today will hold. I know that God is the Creator. He has all things in His hands and He is good. As a math teacher I love solving problems, but many of life’s problems are not for me to solve. I’m learning, slowly, that my job is less about trying to solve the problem and more about following my Lord and just loving the people he brings into my life, one day at a time.