Still Waiting

Many people have written to let me know that they are praying and wanting to know if we have received our ruling from the court. We are grateful for all the prayers and support we have received while we wait. But we are still waiting. 

We have friends who waited 6 months or longer for their ruling, so I know that it can take a very long time here. When the judge told us that it would be ready in a week, I was a little shocked. This judge is known to be faster than some others at giving out his rulings. While I told myself that I would be happy even if we got the ruling in 2-3 weeks, when Friday afternoon came and the lawyer said that the clerk said it will be ready next week, I was very disappointed. 

In the evening, all the emotions of the past couple of weeks overwhelmed me and I sat on my bedroom floor and sobbed. This adoption process is very emotional. When I have been the only mama this little girl can remember, and I have loved her as my daughter for almost 2 years now and prayed for her for months before that, my heart is very vulnerable. I have been trying to go on with life, caring for my family and organizing and preparing for our school year. 

This spring and summer have been busy with meeting with several families who are inquiring whether their children can join our school. We have tried to accommodate as many families as possible without negatively impacting the quality of the education we can offer. Missionary families often do not have many educational options, so we want to serve and support as many of them as we are able. It has been exciting to see our school grow, but it has also been a lot of work. Since our students often come from a wide-range of educational backgrounds, we try to make an educational plan and class schedule that will meet each student’s needs. Trying to make sure we have ordered all the curriculum needed for each student, juggling the schedules with limited teachers and caring for the needs of my 5 children who are out of school for the summer has been a lot for me. We have reached the point where we do not have any more space in several of our classes, and telling friends that we cannot assist with the education of their children always makes me sad. 

Then this week we got news that the elementary school teacher who was planning to join us for the next two school years may not be coming. I am now trying to reorganize schedules and figure out how we are going to cover those classes. I have several ideas, but most of them include me teaching all day with no planning period and coming home as my toddler wakes from her nap ready to go. 😳 Since our school starts in one month, it is highly unlikely that someone else would be able to join us that quickly. Thankfully, a couple weeks before getting this news, we got word that our first graduate is going to come back to Uganda to assist us this year. She is not a teacher, but has worked with small groups of students in the past. She even taught Ezra to read while she was still a student. Now he can’t stop reading. I trust that God is at work even in this uncertainty about how our school year will work out. We should know for certain whether this teacher will be joining us next week.

Next week. It seems like all of this waiting for next week will never end. Even when we reach next week, I am sure there will be more questions and steps in this waiting process. Once the adoption is completed in Uganda, we still have to get a Ugandan passport for Evie and then apply for the US to recognize her adoption and grant her citizenship. That process now requires several months of waiting for an invitation to come to the US for the interview. We may need to apply for a visitor visa before that since we want to visit family, friends and partners in our ministry who are in the US. We will need to wait to see if that visa will be granted or denied before we can make any travel plans. 

So we wait and pray.... 

It isn’t easy. Sometimes, like last night, I sit on the floor and sob to let it all out. But I also try to get up early and take all of these concerns weighing on my mind to the Lord. He says, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” That rest often seems elusive to me, but it is often because I try to figure out how to solve all the worlds problems on my own. I need to let God be God and I can rest in Him. It is much easier said than done. As I struggle through this time of waiting, I used my Bible app to look up verses on waiting. It is easy for me to to think that I am waiting for a certain event or a challenge to be resolved. But as I looked up the word “wait” I realized that it is often used to remind us to “wait on the Lord.”  Knowing that we have a good and faithful Lord, waiting on Him has a very different feeling than simple waiting for a circumstantial change. Here are some of the Psalms that were encouraging to me this morning:

Psalm 27:14 - “Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.”

Psalm 130:5 - “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.”

Psalm 33:20 - “Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.” 

Psalm 39:7 - “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” 

Knowing that my hope is in the Lord and not in a certain outcome helps me not worry while I wait. He is my help and my shield. Even though I struggle as I wait, I will continue to run to His Word for my hope.